So, in my last entry I mentioned how excited I was to get my first collaborative blogging topic. This was of course before I learned that I would have to write about tourism in Colombia.

According to Jorge Humberto Botero, Phase I in Colombia’s tourism development has been completed. Phase I was as follows:

Phase I was meant to boost domestic tourism and featured "touristic caravans," or convoys of dozens of cars escorted by 120-strong contingents of police and military, bristling with assault rifles and machine guns along roads considered unsafe because of guerrilla activity.

Hmm. What I’m hearing is, “Hey, come to Colombia! The tanks have cleared a path!”

So, I take the position that there is no need for tourism in Colombia. Unless you’re itching to witness a cocaine-fueled cockfight, you can experience Colombian culture in the safety of your own home. How? Through the magic of satellite television, of course!

Yes, I’m talking about the much-beloved telenovela. No other country in the world produces soap operas with more dramatic muzak soundtracks, more shellacked hair, or cheesier mustachioed heroes.

Nothing says “Colombia” like a little Pobre Pablo and a cup of Maxwell House. No defensive military tactics required.

For more views on this issue, see:
Wish to See
Write Again Soon
Bad Apologies
A Prize In Every Box
Post No Bills